10.31.2012
Media

Anonymous

It was in the springtime, I was 27 and had just found out I was accepted into a prestigious and extremely competitive college program. The first quarter alone was 26 credits and I would be routinely exposed to hazardous chemicals. You could only be absent two days, and if you missed a third, you were expelled. With my severe 24-hour nausea and sickeningly heightened smell sensitivity, there was no way I would be able to pass the first quarter alone. If you failed a quarter, that was the end of it, you were out of the program for good. And never mind the insanity of raising an infant through the next two years of cramming, all-nighters, exams and boards.

My husband and I had been together five years at that point, and he told me he would support whatever decision I made. He wanted kids but knew that this was really bad timing because there would never be another opportunity to get into this program. I love him so much!

Because it was early enough in the pregnancy, I chose RU-486. I received the medication and took it to the privacy of our house. I was free to change my mind at any point, but once the decision had been made, I never hesitated. That whole night was a blur of delirium, with cramping, clots and chunks of tissue passing. I remember trying to look once to see if I could see the embryo … my husband hovered trying to help/do/say anything that would make it easier for me. By the next afternoon however, I was recovering and feeling 100% better. Being pregnant was the worst feeling, emotionally and physically, that I’d ever experienced, so having the abortion was a tremendous relief.

I passed my program with honors, and now work in the healthcare field making around $6,000 a month. My husband and I still intend to have kids, in fact we are planning to try next year, and we have been discussing names already. We will be able to give our child the best healthcare, the best education and extracurricular opportunities, and two mature, secure, communicative, devoted, loving parents.

I have never regretted getting the abortion. Unfortunately because of prejudices, my career success could be jeopardized if it was widely known that I had one. Occasionally when discussing pregnancy with people and morning sickness in particular, I just tell them I had a miscarriage. Because that’s how I look at it, as a self-induced miscarriage.