I was 21, married, in the military, full time student, part time retail employee, and completely broke. My husband was going away on his first deployment.

The insurance had just kicked in and I had an appointment to get my exam and get back on birth control after a short break. Just 3 weeks into the deployment, my period didn’t arrive and half a dozen tests later: pregnant. I managed to communicate with my husband and he called me in a rage, completely furious, and threatened that I should “take care of it” before he got home or so help him god……He barely believed it was his, despite the timing and my unfailing loyalty. He sent some money, I paid well over half and went to take care of it. I was destroyed and alone and only told one person: an old friend of my husband that had gone through something similar. I went to my appointment alone, had to refuse pain meds because I had to drive myself home after, and cried myself to sleep for weeks in my empty apartment. I had marveled at the life growing inside me, but went ahead and destroyed it for fear of a bleak future. My husband and I never discussed it, even when he returned from his deployment, and the divorce finalized 6 months later. To him: nothing happened. Getting an abortion was the right move in hindsight, as I shudder to think what life would be like now still tied to a verbally abusive, controlling man. My regret isn’t so much at having the abortion, but that I allowed myself to be in that whole situation in the first place. To this day, only a handful of people know about it.