09.21.2013
Media

Anonymous

1989 and I was 18 I was in that “stupid” love with my high school boyfriend. I just thought he was the best thing ever. I was on birth control pills but not only did I take them wrong, I also had a urinary tract infection and was given antibiotics. No one told me to use condoms…well you guessed it I was pregnant and embarrassed people would know I am having sex. Well I told my boyfriend and he begged me to have an abortion. After all we were supposed to be headed to college but I was so scared. I waited and waited out of fear thinking I would just miscarry but I didn’t so of course my boobs got bigger. I started to show more and more. My boyfriend and best friend told me to make decision quick. I made the decision and we went to the clinic and they told me I was in my 2nd trimester and I would have to travel to Springfield, about 2 hours from Boston. I was devasted, this was so bad, I waited too long and this terrible. Well the clinic in Springfield said no and sent me back to Boston to see another clinic. We get there on my 19th birthday and they start to insert these rods in my cervix and this doctor said..you are too far along ma’am. I said oh really ok..hoped off the table put on my panties and bounced out the door so quick to my waiting boyfriend and said its too late, we gotta have the baby. We took a cab and cried all the way home. My mother had been asking me and I told her no I am not pregnant stop asking me that. I finally told her the truth and she was hurt that I lied to her but what could I do now. It was even harder to tell her I was almost 5 months and no prenatal care but I was taking a multi vitamin. My daughter was born healthy 4.5 months later. She is now 23 years old and the best daughter ever. I became pregnant again from the same guy when she was 6 months old and 6 years old but I had early abortions because I knew this was the wrong decision for us but I also knew I had to do better or not have sex. The last abortion I had caused a great pain and depression for me and I went to see a therapist because I knew this was wrong and I was taking a life for my ignorance and plain selfishness! Her dad and I didn’t stay together and I moved on with my life to another state because I made life changing mistakes when it came to him. Today I have 3 wonderful daughters and I talk to them constantly about their bodies and making good choices, no matter what! It’s so easy to judge another woman but you can’t…you have not been in her shoes! It seems you will be judged by the same folks whether you have an abortion or if you have the child and ask for help. You have to always do what’s right for your circumstances.