02.28.2013
Media

At the age of 16 I was forced to move out of my mother’s home. I didn’t have anywhere to go and my boyfriend of 4 months (who was 5 years my senior) said I could move in with him. At 19 he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Since we were young and didn’t have much money we didn’t plan on getting married right away. Just before my 21st birthday we decided we would stop having safe sex every time and if I became pregnant it would be okay. Once I turned 21 things changed I wanted to experience going out like everyone else (I wasn’t a drinker, just wanted to go out with friends) and since he was already 26 he only wanted to stay home and drink beer. Things started going downhill with his drinking and controlling ways so we decided around the end of March that we would break up. Since rent was paid through April I didn’t move out right away and on April 1st I found out I was pregnant. I was very upset and cried the moment the stick said “positive”. I called him once I stopped crying and the first words out of his mouth where “well you have to get an abortion”. I sat down for a week and thought long and hard about what I would do. I knew that my family would not be much help and he was very immature and probably wouldn’t be any help either. I made very little money at the time and only had a month to find a new place to live already. I have known if I ever had a child I would want a two parent home that was able to afford the child. Since I was none of those things I decided to have an abortion. Once I made the appointment the baby’s father tried to talk me out of it and called me horrible names. I was so early in the pregnancy that I was able to take the pills which did cause cramping and I did pass a clot but in the end it was a pain that I figured I deserved. They told me at the clinic that I needed to be supervised for the next 5 days in case I bleed too much and need to be taken to the hospital. When I told my ex this his reply was “oh well I’m leaving for Vegas with the guys I can’t do it.” I stayed with an understanding aunt. After a few days I wanted to go home back to my own bed. On the drive home I was called by an old friend from Middle school asking if I was busy. Knowing that I really shouldn’t be alone I asked if he wanted to watch movies at my house. While we were watching a movie I excused myself to the restroom and passed the clot. I was devastated because they told me I was so early along I would not notice when I passed. Very upset I stayed in the restroom a long time and my friend knocked on the door to make sure I was okay because he heard crying. I explained to him what happen and he stayed to make sure I was okay. Today I’m almost 27 years old and in a very loving relationship with that same friend that helped me though the abortion. Now we talk about marriage, kids and a long life together. I realize now that I was not in a good relationship when I was younger. Today my ex lives with roommates in another state and has been arrested for DWI, public intoxication and even wrecked his truck to do drinking and driving. I am sad every 16th of April because of the abortion but I am thankful that I had that choice and feel like I made the right decision for me and what could have been my first born.