Abused as a child and sexually abused as well, I had little examples of good parenting. I was raped at 19 and gave birth to a son. My parents decided I was not fit to raise him and took him from me by lying in court. They also had money and I was just surviving after leaving home at age 14 …7 years of misery in court over custody. I had a second child by my first husband who became abusive and took my daughter at birth. I chased him down in over 3 states to get her. I lost. I decided to not have any children. Birth control made me violently ill. I had abortions. Not as a means of birth control…I tried to not get pregnant and was surprised I did. I was told my insides were tore up from abuse as a child. When in my late 30’s I became pregnant I kept the child and he is wonderful. This was the right time to have a child. I still keep in close contact with my first son and his beautiful family…he doesn’t know about the product of rape…I told him I made some choices and one was to keep him. I love him dearly! I do not advise keeping a rapists child…unless you can let go of the person who committed the crime from that of the child born. I was. Few can. I rarely get to see my daughter. Her father and family really turned her against me. But it’s OK and what is, just is. She knows I love her and she can call or see me at anytime she wants. My youngest is getting ready for college and he’s awesome. I talked to the judge who took my first child from me and gave him to my parents. He said he thought I had been abused (I was in foster care due to abuse and neglect) but he was helpless to do anything on my behalf. I needed to hear that. As for the abortions, I think about it often. I’m glad I did what I had to do…I hope there was no pain or suffering. I don’t believe in gods or God so it is over and that is it…no more for me…no more pain…no more shame…fewer tears…the town in Oklahoma I come from will never let me live it down…they bring up the past often and I relive events which is one reason I do not believe in or advocate for Christianity…its a lie! Christians are some of the worst people on the face of this earth. But life goes on and so do I, with or without any forgiveness from society. I now advocate for children who have been or are being abused, products of rape, marginalized, denied equity or equality….that’s a whole lot of children in Oklahoma….Our Governor is crap!