01.05.2015
Media

I was a Junior in college when I got pregnant. I had just turned 21 and was madly in love with my college sweetheart of 3 years. He already had a well paying full time job and we were planning our wedding for the year after graduation. I could see my future ahead of me shining bright, one that never included children.

When I found out I was pregnant in march of 2014 I was desolate. I knew I wanted an abortion instantly. My fiance however was adamantly against it. I tried to tell him I wasn’t asking for his permission, only his support he fell apart begging and pleading with me that we could raise this child successfully. I was shocked because we had both agreed we never wanted to be parents. I felt no attachments or maternal instincts to the fetus inside me, and had also spent the last month binge drinking in celebration of turning 21. I had drank heavily every week of my pregancy. I had an entire year left of college and knew I wouldn’t be able to graduate on time if I was expected to give birth in November. So, against my fiance’s wishes I got an abortion. My relationship with my fiance spiraled downwards quickly. We tried going to therapy and talking it out but he grew bitter and I grew untrusting and fearful of him. I broke off my engagement that April. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I needed to do it for myself. This past fall semester I made the deans list for the first time since I came to college. I’m looking forward to my final semester of college and getting to be the career woman I have always wanted to be. I do not regret my abortion, or the suffering I have gone through the past 9 months. It has made me so much stronger, braver and an independent woman instead of a care free college girl. My future is still just as bright, but the views have changed a little bit.