On Wednesday, July the 23rd, my SO (22) went with me (21) to Women’s Med in Indianapolis for a small blood test, Ultrasound and to ‘explore’ our options. There were no protesters outside and you had to press a call button and state your name to be buzzed in. I gave them our ID’s, received forms to fill, and sat down.

The ladies were just as nice in person as they were on the phone, the environment had a slight doctors office feel but nothing over-bearing. Couches and chairs were evenly spaced, 1 tv that showed some housing shows, a water cooler, plenty of fake plants, and mints and tissue every where you looked. Cell phones were allowed but they had to be on silent. That seems like a bad idea but considering you have to have an appointment, get buzzed in and get a copy of your license scanned for obvious privacy and safety reasons, it really wasn’t. There were other women there, maybe about 6/7, only 2 of which looked other than me (20), and only 2 of us brought our SO. I felt bad seeing the other ladies there by themselves, I’m sure it was uncomfortable and a little sad. I’m grateful to have had my man with me.

I filled the forms, had my SO sign one form and returned to the desk, paid the base fee of $175 and sat down to be called. Watched tv to pass time, I didn’t care much for it but my SO was giggling about the gay couple making a fuss about things in the houses. I enjoyed that at least. I was called in to have vitals checked and get a finger prick, which wasn’t as bad as I thought. I told her why I figured it would and she explain that instead of pushing the needle down into the finger, you push it along the print lines because that’s where the vessels are. While I was in that room we talked a little and got a good giggle out of each other, it was very laid back and that was extremely comforting.

She sent me back to a separate waiting area for an ultrasound. Will & Grace was playing and I was the only one watching and giggling. I decided to read the forms I was given on being Rh negative and anemic. I didn’t (still don’t) understand the importance of Rh negative and I already know some about anemia since my mom has it severely. An episode later I was called back and felt like I was about to pee myself. I knew I needed a full bladder so I drank plenty of water before leaving the house. I asked the new lady if I needed to take my pants off (in case I needed to warn her about my hairy legs) and she told me no. Another lady walked in and shut the door and said “An abdominal, yay!”. Apparently they hate vaginal ultrasounds as much as you do.

I laid on the bed and set my feet up on a platform, the first lady was in training I think because she was being watched and instructed when needed by the other. I was asked if I wanted to see the screen or have a print. I chose print but I wanted to see the screen, just forgot to say it.

She put a paper towel around my pants waist then squirted gel on my tummy and I commented on the warmth. Expected it to be cold. She laughed and said they had a ‘little warmer right here’. Did her ultrasound thing. This wasn’t as enjoyable as it could have been because the pressure made me have to pee even worse. It was like a nice massage other than that. She found the fetus and said I was 7 weeks and 1 day, not 11 weeks like expected. That was great news because that I meant I could opt for medical abortion instead of surgical. Made a print for me, the other lady left, and we followed but I stopped and asked what I was supposed to be seeing.
Here is the picture of the ultrasound http://i.imgur.com/PeqskGv.jpg if you’re interested.
I don’t remember what she said about the fetus but she told me the dark triangle shape was the sac. That’s cool, let me show my SO who doesn’t care. They sent me to meet some older lady, she wasn’t a doctor I don’t think but she had me sign a bunch of papers. I asked some questions, things and stuff. She was nice but very professional (boring and intimidating) and sent me on my way after. I went back to the main waiting area, handed the papers I collected in and sat down. Showed my SO what to look at and how far along I was. Disinterested as expected but no big deal. He doesn’t care about much or show his feelings anyway. I watched tv and felt him looking at me and tried to ignore it. He asked if I was alright, I guess I looked sad or worried? Let him know I was and asked for the run down of what I missed on the show.

I don’t know how long we waited this time but I was called back up to collect the papers they had scanned and was told to come back at 12:20 tomorrow. Awesome. So we did just that.

Came back the next day, the 24th. There were protesters, 2 ladies in the back, one spoke to me. Begged me actually, to not go in and said I have “so many options”. Not really, I have 3. She was polite about what she said and seemed genuinely concerned. Hollered one last thing about my options to which I responded “I like this option, thank you.” and she yelled “You’ll regret it” just as we turned the corner. Thinking back, I should have said I *prefer* this option because I don’t like it, but it was the right decision for me. My SO was his normal vulgar self and made a few harsh jokes (quietly and to me) to help lighten the mood. That lady wasn’t the one that shook me though. We turned to the front of the building and there was an older lady there. Grandma material, you know. I really don’t remember what she said, I’m not even sure I was listening. She had this look of someone you’d find in an asylum, she looked at me like she was a monster looking at a
smaller monster. Her glare is what got me. They weren’t allowed on the property luckily but she kept talking and I was frozen where I stood. My SO was holding the door open but I couldn’t move. I don’t know why. I looked at him and he told me to go inside, told the lady to have a good day and followed. I turned to look (a mistake) and her glare was more hostile than before. I needed to press the call button but I was trembling and I knew my voice would crack. I did though, and was let in. We sat in the waiting room for a couple minutes and I was called to pay the remaining $450, sat back down and waited again for maybe 15 minutes before I was called back.

I got a Rhogam shot and talked about the protesters with the nurse (I was still trembling), met one of the doctors and he instructed me on the pills, I took the Mifeprex and 2 antibiotics. Commented on the bitterness of the anti’s and he chuckled, handed me the medicine bag (I later noticed I got 2 Misoprostol instead of 4 like all other women seem to have gotten) then let me leave. Another lady was leaving with her medicine and was nervous to go outside, so she had us walk out first but she still beat us to the cars. We went outside and they were gone, but we got to the car and my SO checked his tires then we got in. I noticed they were in a little RV type thing in a lot across from us. Before we went in we noticed it had signs that said “Need help?”, “Free ultrasounds xxx-xxx-xxxx” and something else. Now, those signs were gone and the old lady was watching us while the others were moving around in the back. We tried to ignore it and pulled out. My
SO and I were super hungry and grabbed some Taco Bell, parked in a Hardee’s lot and ate. Well, he did. I was feeling nauseous and it worsened. I’m amazed I held the pills down, I still felt icky about 10 minutes later but decided to try and eat a little since I didn’t eat that morning out of fear of vomiting. Everything stayed down just fine but I suddenly realised I forgot to buy pads. Last minute stop at Walmart, had a potty break and headed over to the pads. I looked, grabbed and ran. I didn’t realise until I got home that I grabbed granny pads for weak bladders. Oh well, they’ll work the same right? Next day I expected the worst to happen so I didn’t take the Misoprostol until 11pm after my SO took me home. I didn’t understand why they needed to dissolve before swallowing but now I think I do. As soon as the 30 minutes of dissolving were up I swallowed the mush (while sitting on the potty, felt like I had to go), took 4 Ibuprofen and would you
believe it, I felt nauseous. I couldn’t get off the toilet fast enough, I still had my pants down. When I went to heave I saw blood in the toilet. So it begins.

I tried so hard to keep everything down, I had a decent meal 2 hours before to try and get some energy saved up. A sad attempt and experience. I never, ever want to throw up chunky, partly digested fish again. It was horrible. No medicine was digested so my experience was as pure as it gets. Then the cramps started. There was no progression, they came on strong and stayed. Luckily, they weren’t as bad as I’ve ever had. I didn’t cry, was functional, and only had 2 hot/cold flashes. I stayed in the bathroom because I was alternating between laying on the floor and sitting on the potty. There wasn’t any actual diarrhea, just soft poo and of course, blood. I passed three globs larger than golf balls (at once) but they didn’t hurt. It sure was a weird feeling though. Sat on the toilet one last time before deciding to lay down and wiped but felt something unusual.

Out of curiosity I looked. It was the fetus. Now, this may seem weird but it was adorable. It had a black, uneven ring for an eye that was filled with a gray color, it had legs that were curled against the body, arms at it’s sides and obvious fingers. There was what looked like internal organs, but I didn’t notice anything other than a possible kidney, intestines and something that looked like it could have been a heart but it was on the right side of the body, then a tiny tail stub. I didn’t notice a brain, there were no bones. It was just a tiny glob of white-ish goo. It didn’t look like what the fetuses in the photos online do. I took as best a picture as I could, it was neat and I’ll have it to show the clinic ladies when I go back in in a couple weeks. If you’re interested in seeing it http://i.imgur.com/c09aTfHh.jpg . The cramps pretty much stopped immediately after I passed the fetus and have been far and few in between, just tiny twinges.

All of that, from swallowing the mush to ‘here’ happened in 30 minutes. Not 4 hours like most women seem to experience. After that I laid down but didn’t sleep for probably an hour. I got up one last time before allowing myself to sleep and to relieve the pressure in my abdomen. Passed one more glob the same size as the others and went to sleep. I woke up in a small area of blood (I’m glad I have a water proof mattress cover) and the pad was mostly soaked. Now here I am. I’m not happy about the abortion itself but I feel so much better now. A lot of stress has already been lifted.