I was 15 when an uncle by marriage took interest in me. He taught me to drive, bought me what ever I wanted, even the alcohol I asked for. Then he introduced me to marijuana. My mother was recently divorced and too busy enjoying her new found freedom to be concerned about my uncle’s attention to me; it gave her more free time when I was with him.

After we start smoking marijuana together the sexual relationship started. I didn’t think I could say no or tell anyone because I was drinking the alcohol and smoking the marijuana. After about 6 months, though, I was able to end the relationship. I didn’t handle the abuse well. First I slipped into a depression. I slept a lot. Others knew something was wrong but I refused to tell. I didn’t want to get into trouble. When sleeping all the time started drawing too much attention I found an even more destructive way of coping. I became hypersexual. It was easier to hide and it made me feel special at least during the act. Then I got pregnant. I didn’t know who the father was, so I just refused to tell. My mother knew what a child would mean for me. She knew I wouldn’t finish high school that I had just started. She knew the rest of my life would be a struggle. What she didn’t know was that I was still trying to deal with the pain and confusion from the incest she didn’t know had happened. She took me to have an abortion. At first the abortion depressed me more. My mother had been young when she had me so all I could think was, “What if she had aborted me.” But it was also the wake up call I needed. I turned my life around. I never reported my uncle, but I also stopped drinking and drugging and stopped using sex as a coping mechanism. I focused on me; I healed. I went on to finish high school, though not with the high marks I’d hoped for. Today I am a homemaker with 3 beautiful children whom I love and adore. They are well cared for, healthy and happy. I don’t think I would be the mother I am today if my life as a mother had started when I was 15 and so very traumatized. I am married to a wonderful, loving, hardworking man who knows my past and understands the decisions I made and why.